The Never Ending Cycle of Domestic Violence | Patti Austin Official Website

The Never Ending Cycle of Domestic Violence

By on Monday, March 23rd, 2009 in Blog

Domestic violence is a serious problem across the nation. Every abuser follows a similar trend outlined in the cycle of domestic violence and those that are abused tend to become trapped in each of the event’s psychological elements. Many outside parties advise to end the domestic violence by leaving the situation and that advice, although great, isn’t easy to take when involved so intimately in the situation yourself. If you are a victim, understanding this cycle may help you break the cycle.

The cycle of domestic violence goes from the Incident, to Tension Building, to Making Up to Calming and back around again all to gain power and control. There are so many different methods of abuse that each victim’s situation is unique and delicate. Perhaps the victim has been isolated by the abuser. They feel alone and have no where to turn so they believe they must stay in their current situation. Victims may feel like the abuse is less harsh than facing life alone. Over time isolation results in the abuser maintaing complete control over every contact the victim makes with the outside world, even including what the victim reads or watches on television so her only influence on life is her abuser. This isolation can be intensified when the victim has no money or resources. Many abusers control all the finances so any amount of money spent must be approved by the abuser. Suffering from constant put downs makes a victim feel weak and helpless even when he or she is not. An abuser wants to make their victim feel guilty for any actions that are not approved of and wants the victim to think that this is acceptable behavior and thinking otherwise makes the victim crazy. Some abusers try to use the old fashioned relationship of women remaining home and under the control of the man as a legit reason to treat her like the household servant. These are just a few of many ways abuse occurs over and over and deman our immediate attention. The cycle of domestic violence has been studied by professionals and recognized as a very serious problem.

The key to understanding the cycle of domestic violence is that it is never ending. Abusers will always abuse. No apology is ever sincere if it is followed with another incident. No gift ever replaces your pride or dignity. No promise will heal your marks and bruises. Physical abuse is just one element of the many behaviors that constitute abuse. Understanding the behaviors may shed some light on knowing what an unhealthy relationship consists of.

Please join me to end domestic violence.

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