Signs Of An Abusive Relationship | Patti Austin Official Website

Signs Of An Abusive Relationship

By on Monday, August 24th, 2009 in Blog

Knowing the signs of an abusive relationship is absolutely crucial in this day and age. No more can we afford to look the other way when the signs of abuse are there right in front of us. You never know who’ll be the next victim. Sometimes someone who seems strong and independently minded will turn out to put up with all kinds of abuse when the doors are closed. Maybe she (or he) will blame herself or tell herself that things are going to change. Maybe on some level she believed she doesn’t deserve any better. Nonetheless, as a friend you can help by spotting an abusive relationship before it is too late.

The signs of an abusive relationship vary with the age of the victim and the type of abuse. Signs of child abuse are actually comparatively easy to spot. You see, children are not quite as good at hiding things. When they are being abused, they usually want to tell you on some level. They will often have physical marks on their bodies with no good explanation of where they came from. Sometimes they’re quiet and withdrawn, or moody. Their parents may be overbearing or secretive, and keep them out of any extracurricular activities. These are just some of the most common about signs of childhood abuse.

Of course, with an adult abusive relationship, signs can be a little bit harder to spot. In my experience, one of the best telltale signs of an abusive relationship is the need of the victim to defend the abuser. On some level, victims always know when they’re being abused. When they jump to their abusers aid, they are not only trying to convince you that the abuse is not happening, but trying to convince themselves. They will be louder or more vociferous than the situation calls for. They may also try to excuse the abuse by giving all sorts of reasons for why it happened and claiming that it was a one-time thing.

The signs of emotional abuse are a little bit less clear. One of the biggest problems is that there is no good definition of where emotional abuse begins. Generally, it is all subjective. An emotionally abusive relationship is one where one person feels berated, excessively criticized, and put upon. The bullying can sometimes get very intense and lead to serious depression, making this every bit as crucial to spot as any other kind of abuse. Unfortunately, however, it is more difficult to spot.

Donyel Caruth
Donyel Caruth

Hi Patti, Thanks for posting this it's really important that people check this out and i hope they will. Thanks again, Donyel